Just What We Need: Bulletproof Tweeds

September 27, 2010 | By | Reply More

Italians Are the Problem?!

According to this article in London’s Telegraph newspaper, “tweed, the hard-wearing fabric favored by the landed gentry, has been adapted into bulletproof clothing. A Scottish textiles company has launched a range of jackets and waistcoats, complete with body armor sown into the fabric, in an effort to stop sportsmen being injured.”

Wait a sec: “stop sportsmen being injured?” What’s going on across the pond? Are shooters hitting the pub and then the fields?!

“The bulletproof tweed is ideal for shooting parties on Scotland’s grouse moors,” said Stewart Liddell, sales director for Jack Ellis, the body armor company company making the garments. “Every season you hear of an accidental shooting. Now nervous gamekeepers can provide clients with extra protection, especially from trigger-happy Italians who get excited on the moors.”

I guess this guy isn’t counting on Italians as customers…not even Sicilians?


The tweeds cost between £600 and £1,000, so save your pennies. Liddell told the paper taht the waistcoats and jackets are “very lightweight, allowing easy movement, but will easily stop a shotgun blast thanks to ceramic plates inserted into their linings.

The tweed’s “soft armor” also includes a weave of aramid, a super-strength synthetic fiber that diverts bullets off at an angle – no word on whether that applies to shot too. The exterior is covered by a thin layer of Teflon, which is waterproof and offers extra protection.

“Although the waistcoats appear slightly padded [hear that all you waistcoat wearers?] it is virtually impossible to tell the difference between a normal shooting jacket and the armored version.”


Of course, the paper brings up probably the most famous bird-hunting accident of all, courtesy of our former Vice President. But then the article gets into what we suspect is the real motivation behind bulletproof clothes: anarchy. Seriously: “Jack Ellis…is also targeting them at Russian oligarchs keen to protect themselves from assassination attempts.”

Last but not least, about the supposed need for this in the upland world. Bert Burnett, of the Scottish Gamekeepers Association, was quoted as saying: “We have very few accidents within the industry, but anything to increase safety is to be applauded.”

If you really need to have such a garment, seems you will be able to purchase one on the Jack Ellis website sometime after Oct. 14 or you can be measured for a tailored garment at the factory.

Category: Clothing, Funny!, UK

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